How To Talk To Girls At Parties

A poorly curated inspiration board for the sartorially inclined.

One time, when I was two and a half and my mom was pregnant with my sister, she stepped on one of my Legos and was like, ‘If you don’t pick these Legos up you’re gonna get in trouble.’ And of course I was like, ‘Nah, I’m cool on that.’ So when my dad got home, he said, ‘Jon, if you don’t pick these up and I do, you can’t play with them anymore.’ I responded with, ‘Whatever.’ I WAS A FUCKING G AT 2 YEARS OLD, B. I didn’t play with Legos for, like, 6 months! 6 months for a 2 year old is like a 4 year bid. Moral of the story? Never pick up your Legos.

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