How To Talk To Girls At Parties

A poorly curated inspiration board for the sartorially inclined.
HTTTGAP’s Definitive Guide To Merkins
If any particular trend jumped out during the F/W 2012 menswear shows it was that the merkin is officially poised to make a resurgence as a crucial piece within the classic menswear wardrobe. Luckily for you, I am well versed in this specific sartorial category and willing to provide a few key tips as you begin to build out your merkin collection and work it into your everyday wardrobe.
Merkin’s Are Seasonal - Like most menswear staples, merkins should correspond to the season. F/W merkins in classic fabrics such as Harris Tweed, waxed canvas and moleskin are as functional as they are stylish. They add a wonderful hint of texture to your outfit and will keep your loins warm in the briskest of months. Conversely, as the weather warms up, you do not want your merkin holding you back and creating an even sweatier situation for your dick. Breathable fabrics (think seersucker, madras, etc.) in classic patterns and colors will keep you cool without sacrificing even the slightest bit of wiener fashion.
Black Tie Merkin - For formal occasions your merkin should correspond to the rest of your ensemble. Black or midnight blue merkins with grosgrain trim are your safest bet, as is a strong plaid that corresponds with your unique dinner jacket. The last thing you want when attending an upscale function is for fellow party goers to scoff at your lack of tact, so make sure your merkin is on point.
The Statement Merkin - Much like we all have statement pieces in our wardrobe, the odd statement merkin is just as critical. For those moments when you hop up out of bed and feel like mushroom stamping the world right on its forehead!
The Conservative Merkin - First impressions are key. Job interviews, first dates, meeting the in-laws, etc. are all crucial moments where your dress should be stylish, but conservative. This is the perfect time to bust out your conservative merkin as you want to show off what you’ve got, but not flaunt it. Navy blues, grays and other monochromatic, understated merkins should do the trick.

HTTTGAP’s Definitive Guide To Merkins

If any particular trend jumped out during the F/W 2012 menswear shows it was that the merkin is officially poised to make a resurgence as a crucial piece within the classic menswear wardrobe. Luckily for you, I am well versed in this specific sartorial category and willing to provide a few key tips as you begin to build out your merkin collection and work it into your everyday wardrobe.

Merkin’s Are Seasonal - Like most menswear staples, merkins should correspond to the season. F/W merkins in classic fabrics such as Harris Tweed, waxed canvas and moleskin are as functional as they are stylish. They add a wonderful hint of texture to your outfit and will keep your loins warm in the briskest of months. Conversely, as the weather warms up, you do not want your merkin holding you back and creating an even sweatier situation for your dick. Breathable fabrics (think seersucker, madras, etc.) in classic patterns and colors will keep you cool without sacrificing even the slightest bit of wiener fashion.

Black Tie Merkin - For formal occasions your merkin should correspond to the rest of your ensemble. Black or midnight blue merkins with grosgrain trim are your safest bet, as is a strong plaid that corresponds with your unique dinner jacket. The last thing you want when attending an upscale function is for fellow party goers to scoff at your lack of tact, so make sure your merkin is on point.

The Statement Merkin - Much like we all have statement pieces in our wardrobe, the odd statement merkin is just as critical. For those moments when you hop up out of bed and feel like mushroom stamping the world right on its forehead!

The Conservative Merkin - First impressions are key. Job interviews, first dates, meeting the in-laws, etc. are all crucial moments where your dress should be stylish, but conservative. This is the perfect time to bust out your conservative merkin as you want to show off what you’ve got, but not flaunt it. Navy blues, grays and other monochromatic, understated merkins should do the trick.

  1. anoddhue reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties
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  6. girlsandbeer said: fucking wiener fashion.
  7. rubicante reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties
  8. sashu reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties
  9. thesecondbestblog reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties and added:
    I did not know what a merkin was, so I looked it up. I think this is weird. Also hilarious. Job interviews, etc. being...
  10. reallyawesomecostumes reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties
  11. salvalentine reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties and added:
    Hahahahaha
  12. vampirefiction reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties and added:
    How To Wear Merkins To Parties
  13. noelanthony reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties
  14. couragebatou reblogged this from adamstardust and added:
    Is… is this real? Please tell me this is all in jest.
  15. adamstardust reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties and added:
    If you do not know what a merkin is, go do yourself a favor and look it up.
  16. perseveress reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties and added:
    Because I am imagining what a seersucker or Harris Tweed merkin would look like on the Finds.
  17. roavl reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties
  18. fatmeldman reblogged this from howtotalktogirlsatparties
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